Building Confidence Means Overcoming Fear

One of my favorite quotes comes from Dune, the book by Frank Herbert. It goes like this. 

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. ” 

To overcome fear, you must begin by facing the problems and patterns keep you stuck.

Without self-confidence, we have a tendency to make poor decisions or not make decisions. We make choices based on fear instead of what is best for us. If you lack confidence, you might fill your life with self-destructive behavior, isolate yourself, cease to take risks or even seek joy, happiness or relationships.

One important distinction I want to make is that, confidence is the idea that I can do something. Self-Esteem is how I feel about the activity. You may win a race, get an award but put yourself down for not doing better. This hurts both confidence and self-esteem. 

So, some tips for confidence building.:
  1. Quit dwelling on fear or failures.
  2. Mentally rehearse or visualize positive outcomes.
  3. Reframe your thoughts to think positively.
  4. Learn optimism and positive thinking.
  5. No more “buts…..
  6. Face your fears.
  7. Get a therapist to help you work through your fears.
  8. Spend time with confident people.
  9. Read about self-esteem building.
  10. Create a positive self-fulifilling prophecy.
Ultimately, the way out of fear is through it. Once faced, fear will dissolve. Embrace confidence building thoughts and activities, then affirm yourself to create a new imprint of success, self-confidence and enhanced self-esteem.

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Dr. Mike Klaybor

Dr. Mike Klaybor

Dr. Mike Klaybor brings thirty years of experience in practicing counseling psychology with individuals and couples. His approach is cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT. Specific specialties include; anxiety and stress management, chronic pain & chronic illness management, depression, substance abuse evaluations, employee assistance and executive coaching for workplace performance and leadership.