I couldn’t agree with the following quote more. My beliefs are identical. Take a look, think about it and then we shall proceed with some personal self-evaluation. “Resentment is a relationship killer,” says psychotherapist and couples counselor Susan Adler. If we want happier relationships, we need to drop the blame, own our mistakes, and act in ways that increase connection, not conflict. This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community. Susan Adler TED Talk. How to take responsiblity for your part of the problem and the solution.
“As it turns out, she says most people have this blind spot: “Instead of seeing that our own unhappiness puts stress on our relationship, we blame our relationship for our unhappiness — we get mad, then we try to get even, then we wonder why things go badly.” And after repeated exposure to this potent blend of blame, resentment and retaliation, as Adler puts it, “you might still be a couple, but you’re no longer a team.” This is a link to best books and podcasts for a better relationship. Books and Podcasts for a Better Relationship. Of course, couples counseling, marriage retreats, getting individual therapy to master or conquer your personal demons are pathways to recovery, love, being a positive influence on each other, a team and MOST importantly, proper modeling for children on how to have a happy and fulfilling relationship.
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