Codependency—What is it? Am I Codependent?

If you feel unfulfilled in relationships, tend to be indirect, don’t assert yourself, feel responsible of rather people’s feelings, feel compelled to take care of other’s feelings, solve their problems, feel insecure and most comfortable giving to others, then you are probably codependent. Codependence is about growing up depending on someone who’s depending on something that’s not dependable. This could include anything from abusing alcohol and drugs to compulsive overworking, overeating, and overdoing almost anything. When your identity is totally tied to someone for approval, direction to validate you, this is codependence. 
Take the quiz:
  1. Do you depend on sources outside yourself for meaning, identity and value?
  2. Do you take care of other people’s pain and problems while ignoring your own?
  3. Do you help others at your own expense or the expense of your family?
  4. Do you say yes when you mean no?
  5. Are you easily absorbed by the pain and problems of others?
  6. Do you submerge yourself in fixing or rescuing needy people?

The remedy….

  1. Value yourself
  2. Take responsibility for your own destiny.
  3. Stop doing what doesn’t work.
  4. Develop your self-esteem.
  5. Accept others and don’t try to change them.
  6. Detach from the problems of others to focus on taking care of yourself.

____ Yes   ___No   

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Dr. Mike Klaybor

Dr. Mike Klaybor

Dr. Mike Klaybor brings thirty years of experience in practicing counseling psychology with individuals and couples. His approach is cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT. Specific specialties include; anxiety and stress management, chronic pain & chronic illness management, depression, substance abuse evaluations, employee assistance and executive coaching for workplace performance and leadership.